Puppy Games is looking for a new MINION to join our tiny boutique studio. Briefly the perks comprise of:
- Working from home.
- Working your own hours.
- Writing games for iOS.
- Working for an award winning, renowned studio.
- Generous holidays.
- Being surrounded by beautiful women.
Only one of those statements is possibly untrue.
The conditions, disadvantanges and small print of your employment are thus:
- Miserly pay. We don’t have lots of cash but we’ve got enough to pay you a frugal living.
- You’ve got to be a UK taxpayer. Where you actually are we don’t care.
- Your first job will be to port all our games to iOS, which is not as exciting as it sounds.
- Only later will you get to do interesting stuff.
To this end we seek solicitations from UNIVERSITY GRADUATES with a PORTFOLIO OF GAMES PROGRAMMING EXPERIENCE on iOS who is able to attend an interview in Taunton within the next 3 months. You might not necessarily be a graduate, but then you’ll have a really great portfolio consisting of at least one FINISHED GAME. It would be extraordinarily beneficial if you are proficient in Java, OpenGL, and maybe C++ or C as well.
Please email your CV, either a URL, .doc, or .pdf, to email@example.com with the subject “MINION”. Please include hyperlinks to any stuff we can check out online such as demos or video, and also include a covering letter saying what your salary expections might be so we can have a good chortle.
I’m afraid we CAN’T AFFORD AGENCY FEES so if you’re a pimp, I’m afraid you won’t get lucky this time around.
If after all the UNUSUAL JOB ADVERT HONESTY you still aren’t put off then this might be the job for you!